All Posts / Thoughts

A man who hides from all that binds

So, Death Cab for Cutie is, without a doubt, my most favorite band in this entire universe.  Their music is beyond powerful for me.  I can’t even describe it.  Only other really big Death Cab fans would probably understand, but I get everything from their music–happiness, sadness, easiness of life as well as the difficulty in life.  The musicianship itself is incredible, as well as the lyrical aspects of their music.  It’s all just perfect, and I honestly don’t think I could live without this band.

That being said, I am somewhat ashamed to say that, only today, I discovered an EP of theirs that I somehow missed, but had come out FOUR YEARS AGO.  WHO AM I?!  And I call myself a Death Cab fan.  Psh.

(Side note:  the EP is called “The Open Door”, and came out in 2009, apparently as a follow-up to Narrow Stairs, as the songs that didn’t quite make the cut for that album.)

Do you ever have those moments when you hear something–anything–an alarm clock, words said by a stranger, lyrics in a song, the wind, music coming from an acoustic guitar playing in the distance–and it just so perfectly describes your life at that point in time?

Well.  This was one of those moments, when I heard the songs from this EP.  They were are perfect.  And they perfectly describe the weirdness that is my life right now.  In fact, it’s so perfect, that the title of my blog is stolen from the EP’s title, which is from a line in the song “My Mirror Speaks”.  Some lyrics below:

I always fall in love with an open door
With a horizon on an endless sea
As I look around the ones who were standing right in front of me

And then my mirror speaks with irreverence
Like a soldier I can’t command
It sees a child in the body of a full-grown man

And he’s a man who hides from all that binds
And a mess of fading lines

And there’s a tangled thread inside his head
With nothing on either end
There’s nothing on either end

Another song in the EP, “A Diamond and a Tether” also hit the nail on the head.  

Pity, take pity on me.
’cause I’m not half the man that I should be.
And I don’t blame you,
you’ve had enough,
of all these empty promises and countless bluffs.

’cause I know you can’t hold out forever
waiting on a diamond and a tether
from a boy who won’t jump when he falls in love.
He just stands with his toes on the edge
and he waits for it to disappear again.

In all honesty, I don’t wanna get into it, especially because I want this blog to be a blog a bunch of people can read while I’m studying abroad this fall.  But I also want this to be an honest blog, that also deals with some of the random stuff that I have to deal with in my everyday life.  I dunno, but let’s just say that I didn’t know that anyone else could feel the way I feel sometimes.  But these songs, they PROVE it.  They prove that other people can.  So I’m not insane for feeling the way that I do.  And it makes me feel better.

That’s one thing I love about music; it doesn’t always offer a solution.  In fact, it rarely does.  It tells of struggle and life and is compassionate and sympathetic and full of passion and love and infers that someday, somewhere, everything will be OK, even if right now it hurts.  And hurting is OK.  And being confused is OK.  And not knowing is OK.  Being a human is OK.

And in this society which constantly tells us that we have to be something we’re not–seemingly nonhuman–isn’t it nice to be reminded that it’s OK to be yourself?

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